Yahoo! Finds Not-So-Subtle Way to Insult French

Take THAT, France!

French tourists seen as world’s worst: survey

PARIS (Reuters Life!) – French tourists are the worst in the world, coming across as bad at foreign languages, tight-fisted and arrogant, according to a survey of 4,500 hotel owners across the world.

They finish in last place in the survey carried out for internet travel agency Expedia by polling company TNS Infratest, which said French holidaymakers don’t speak local languages and are seen as impolite.

“It’s mainly the fact that they speak little or no English when they’re abroad, and they don’t speak much of the local language,” Expedia Marketing Director Timothee de Roux told radio station France Info.

“The French don’t go abroad very much. We’re lucky enough to have a country which is magnificent in terms of its landscape and culture,” he said, adding that 90 per cent of French people did their traveling at home.

“So when they’re on holiday they can be a bit stressed, they’re not used to things, and this can lead them to be demanding in a way which could be seen as a certain arrogance.”

French tourists are also accused of generally spending less than other nationalities when abroad.

De Roux said the French, not accustomed to leaving large tips at home where a service charge is automatically levied on restaurant bills, can seem “tight-fisted” compared with other nationalities.

The Japanese ranked top of the Best Tourist survey, with the British and the Germans judged the best of the Europeans.

But French tourists received some consolation for their poor performance, finishing third after the Italians and British for dress sense while on holiday.

Huh, guess they managed to serve the Italians and British too. Well played, Yahoo! Bigot Engine. 

Hollywood WTF: Death is totally working double time this week

Apparently, if you’re going to do something risky like jump out of a plane, and you live anywhere BUT Los Angeles, today is the day to go the fuck ahead – because Death is totally busy over on the West Coast.

The LA Times is reporting the deaths of both Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson today. Ms. Fawcett died after a long battle with cancer. Michael…has had a quick and hopefully painless heart attack. 

Coupled with the loss of Ed McMahon, I’d say Death is getting in his celeb quota before the upcoming 4th of July head-exploding galas.

Technical Difficulties

…specifically, I can’t find the time to blog about everything that’s been going on over the last week or so. Sheesh.

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Oh, look, boy bands!

I came across this awesome collage of ill-conceived boy band photoshoots, and couldn’t resist sharing it here. All your favorites – 98 Degrees, Backstreet Boys, N*SYNC, New Kids on the Block, Boyz II Men and Hanson – grace the webpages in some of the weirdest poses I’ve seen in a long time. 

But what happened to most of these groups? 

Backstreet Boys

Riding high in 1999, the Boys were headed for splitsville in 2006. Kevin Richardson left the group, and the Boys continue without him. They still play here and there, but haven’t released an album in a while. I’m sure Nick’s reality show on E! didn’t help matters. 

N*SYNC

The group went on hiatus in 2002. It was at this point that Justin Timberlake became a big star (thanks, Britney!), Lance Bass came out of the closet and the other guys…well, they went their separate ways. Better to heed the writing on the wall than to continue doing something that no longer works (see above). 

98 Degrees

These guys pretty much broke up when Nick married Jessica. We all know how that one ended up, but did you know that another member, Jeffre, ran for mayor of Cinncinnati? I didn’t! 

Hanson

So I had no idea these guys were so into actual music—and that, apparently, is their label’s fault. In 2000, Mercury Records merged with Island Def Jam, and the brothers’ more creative songs were rejected for a lack of marketability. The boys toured that summer and fall on their own funds, releasing a documentary about breaking free from Island. They now run their own independent label, 3CG Records.

Boyz II Men

After label conflicts and health issues (Michael McCary developed scoliosis and Wayna Morris discovered a polyp on his vocal chords), the Boyz went on hiatus in 2003. They’ve released several albums since II, but none had received the same critical acclaim. They resurfaced in 2007 to take part in the upcoming Motown 50th anniversary celebrations, recording and performing classic Motown hits. Motown: A Journey Through Hitsville USA is available on iTunes. 

New Kids on the Block

By 1994, the group was facing a bit of a backlash. Grunge and gangsta rap were heating up and these guys didn’t fit into either category. After experiencing increased anxiety and panic attacks, Jonathan Knight left the group. The remaining four decided to disband, and began the next phase of their lives: families, marriage, career changes, etc. A reunion tour in 2008, however, brought the fans right back to them (with both hearts and wallets open—including mine!). 

Love them or hate them—either way, take a look at those terrible photos and tell me you didn’t get a good, hearty laugh. Ski goggles. Frosted tips. Shiny pants. O. M. G.

A MACWRAP? WTF

McDonald’s is introducing the Mac Wrap. The rest of us…our souls are weeping.

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Is that an ENTIRE beef patty I see all wrapped up in that tortilla? I hope not, for the sake of the future of this country’s already obese children. 

I hate everything right now.

Weirdest. Commercial. Ever.

I saw this spot a few years ago, and have been searching for it online ever since. Dixon finally found it yesterday, and I wanted to share it with you, just for the part where the VO says, “Hello, lunchmeat.” Creepy, but I love it!

For those who can’t click the link, check it out here: http://globalmechanic.com/clients/target

Bad Ad Monday: Late-Breaking Edition

We’ve touched on weird celebrity endorsements overseas (specifically in Japan), but what about when a well-known celeb starts shilling on American soil—and then becomes the center of a scandal? What does this do for the brand? What does it do for that celeb’s career? Let’s take a look…

Michael Phelps for Kellogg’s

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Things were going great for Phelps, who, by summer’s end in 2008 held the most gold medals for swimming in history. He had sponsors lining up with big bucks, namely Kellogg’s, who sealed the deal and placed Phelps’s face all over their Corn Flakes and Frosted Flakes packaging. All was well (and profitable) until fall ‘08, when Phelps was been busted sucking the smoke out of a big-ass bong, and Kellogg’s bowed out, even though stoners the world over rely on the tasty goodness of Pop-Tarts to see them through the munchies. Tsk, tsk. What a missed opportunity.

Madonna for Pepsi

In 1989, Madonna’s career was soaring, and Pepsi had signed her to a $5 million endorsement deal. The ad was even pre-empted by teaser hype at the Grammys, and featured music from Madonna’s upcoming album. By the time the spot broke, however, Madonna’s first single and video, “Like a Prayer,” debuted. It would have been a great way to market both the drink and the album…if it weren’t for imagery like this in her video: 

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Hey, burning crosses are family-friendly…if your family is the fucking KKK. Or if their last name is Manson.

In spite of all that, Madonna’s crusade (heh) against religion didn’t seem to hurt her career too much—she’s still worth millions and still going strong twenty years later, as is the iconic Pepsi brand. 

Chris Brown for Wrigley Gum

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When he stepped on the scene in 2005, Chris Brown was the young, clean-cut guy with the smooth R&B vocals. In 2008, his career was still going strong as he began dating pop sensation Rihanna, and shilling for Wrigley’s Doublemint brand, tweaking one of his hit songs for their new ad campaign. The harmony was short-lived, however. By Grammy night, Brown and Rihanna were involved in a domestic violence dispute, which put Brown’s whole career into freefall. As pictures of the battered Rihanna surfaced, public outrage forced Brown into going incognito, and Wrigley into suspending the spots. Brown’s career is still in limbo; Wrigley chugs along with no current campaign. 

Jessica Simpson for Princy Jeans

This one isn’t really a scandal; it’s more like a case of a celeb endorsing so many things that she probably can’t remember all the products she must wear/eat/talk about every day. Jessica Simpson has famously shilled for anything put in front of her: Pizza Hut, Proactiv, her own line of hair extensions, Dessert (the edible body lotion), Stampede Light Beer, her own line of shoes and Princy Jeans. Tarrant Apparel Group, the company backing her JS and Princy lines of jeans, sued Simpson for $100 million when she was busted wearing a different brand of denim. It’s just as well—when she chooses the jeans herself, it’s not always pretty. Observe: 

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Sad. Especially because her own line is actually kinda cute. As we all know, Simpson’s career has been reduced to singing at chili cook-offs, and many of her once-hot endorsement deals have cooled. Her shoe line is going pretty strong, though. *checks out JS boots in mirror*

Kate Moss for H&M, Chanel, Pepsi…

Supermodel Kate Moss posed for many ads over the years, and in 2005 was still at the top of her game…until the Daily Mirror published photos of her snorting coke in a recording studio. Everyone dropped her—a total of seven endorsement deals were lost. However, after dumping her drug-addled boyfriend Pete Doherty, her career has enjoyed a comeback of sorts. Just not with the same companies. Ouch. 

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olson for Milk

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Got milk? Apparently, Mary-Kate didn’t. Shortly after this ad launched, she checked herself into rehab for an eating disorder. Not a very nutritious habit, Mary-Kate. Whoops. Milk chugs along with new celebs every year. The Olson girls…well, they can probably retire at the ripe old age of 22 with all the OTHER money they’ve made.

All in all, celebrity endorsements are a crapshoot. Celebs are typically an unstable lot, and they’re definitely not immune to the pitfalls of scandal—or to the long arm of the law. Using them can increase your brand’s popularity…or just cost you a lot of cash for some work you can’t run. Proceed with caution—or just a great idea that’s strong enough without the distraction of a famous person.

Dealing With Idiocy: Unlicensed Driver Edition

For the past four days, I’ve been trying to deal with getting someone else’s mistake pounded out of my car’s driver side door, seething about how the person that hit me had no license but plenty of gall to be driving around regardless.

Lo and behold I get a call this morning from the “owner of the car.” She wants to know if, four days after the driver took off without giving me his name, we could possibly not involve insurance.

NO, BITCH, WE CANNOT PLAY LET’S MAKE A FUCKING DEAL. And here’s why:

Frankly, I’m insulted by her johnny-come-lately, hamfisted approach to bribery…and the fact that her scheming ass tried to lie to me about her identity in the first place. It turns out that the other car did not belong to some mythical mother-in-law creature, but instead belonged to the idiotic passenger, who kept trying to play it off as such.

Extra Asshole Points are being awarded for having her two young kids in the car and carting them around illegally.

Fucking moron.

I need a drink.

This is an Angry Week

Sunday afternoon, some asshole with no license and no insurance hit my car.

I suppressed the urge to kill, but it is bubbling up again, since I managed to anger the parking gods and got a ticket too.

And then, the wiper blade fell off.

I hate everyone.

Holy. Shit.

I am so busy this week that I can’t see straight. Regular posting will continue soon, promise.

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